Vanity of Vanities

Become

2009-06-08T21:59:00.004-04:00

In reading through Corinthians, today I came across the famous passage in 2 Corinthians 5. “We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (vs. 21) Essentially, the verse says that Jesus, who isn’t in the slightest bit sinful, took upon the sins (cause we all have sins) of those who reconcile, or put faith in, God. So that we can be righteous like Jesus is, in Jesus’ name, and be close with God, perfect and holy.

It is a wonderful, foundational, hope-giving, life-pumping, life-changing verse that is so solid and true it can be clung to in any situation (and should be!). It is an essential break down of the gospel and glory of Christ – the circumstance, means, and outcome of salvation and God’s sovereignty. Everything can be summed up and given reason, purpose, hope and life with this verse. It is not the only of its sort though (see also Rom 5, Eph 3, Col 2, Heb 10). I speak of this fundamental gospel verse now because it fits in a funny way with something I’ve been pondering a lot lately. Namely, the stages of a Christian’s life that are summed up in the words justification (being declared righteous by God – saved from the penalty of sin), sanctification (the process in which we are separated from the power of sin) and glorification (the time/act when God completes our separation from sin). The word in 2 Corinthians 5 that brings this into summation to me is “become” – “so that in him we might become the righteousness of God”. To become the righteousness of God - a word that means instantly, operationally, and conclusively!

Let me try to explain what I’ve seen in the last couple days reading through the end of 1 Corinthians and the beginning of 2 Corinthians. I am not trying to give a full explanation of these three stages but am simply, and briefly, giving explanation as I see fit according to this part of scripture.

Justification. Paul, as he begins to re-explain the gospel before going into the topic of resurrection, says in 1 Cor 15:3, “For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures.” Christ died for our sins as according to the Scriptures. Isaiah 53, written hundreds of years prior to Jesus, is likely one of “the Scriptures” that Paul is referring to. “Out of anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities” (vs. 11) and again, “because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.” (vs. 12) Justification is a legal term before it is a theological one. Meaning to “show or prove right”. This is exactly what Jesus has done. He has removed from us, in the courtroom of God the great Judge, the penalty of sin by bearing it for us. We no longer carry with us the penalty of sin in Jesus’ name – he has “proved us right” in his own righteousness and sacrifice. God the judge looks upon Jesus on the cross and declares us free from the penalty of sin – which is death, the eternal sort. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself” (1 Cor 5:17,18) Paul here explains that we are free from the penalty of sin in Jesus, therefore a new creation, in Jesus.

Sanctification. Now here we come across a term that certainly suggests a lot. There are varying opinions on the proper meaning and usage of this word – based mainly on the time, extent and means by which sanctification happens. I wish, as much as I am able, to leave that behind and use this term to speak of what Paul speaks of in 2 Cor 3:12-18, “Since we have such a hope, we are very bold, not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face so that the Israelites might not gaze at the outcome of what was being brought to an end. But their minds were hardened. For to this day, when they read the old covenant, that same veil remains unlifted, because only through Christ is it taken away. Yes, to this day whenever Moses is read a veil lies over their hearts. But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” Paul begins this section with Moses and the veil over his face (referencing Exodus 34) because he is emphasizing the glory but the hopelessness of the old-covenant. Not to say the old-covenant was imperfect, it was perfect, but because of the nature of man it was unachievable. So this veil lies over their hearts when the old covenant was read because they did not understand that it was through faith and sacrifice of the heart that one is saved. Not through the law. Legalism’s glory was fleeting, as was the shining of Moses’ face. Paul goes on to say that the freedom is brought on by the Spirit of the Lord and here we stumble across what I see as being a blatant and important description of sanctification – the process by which we are removed from the power of sin. True sanctification is done by the Spirit, and in Jesus’ name, not by law and not without justification first. We observe Christ in Scripture, and pray to God by the Spirit and thank Him for His Son and we are transformed into the image of Christ by loving law not just abiding by it. In this we are transformed into an image that resembles Christ more and more. As Christ was perfect and completely adhered to the law in His perfection, holiness and strength, as we love and worship Him in truth, with unveiled faces full of faith, we get sanctified. Sometimes very painfully but always with joy. I work in the service industry and am asked hundreds of times everyday, “How are you doing?” It is often that I wish to say, “I am on the long, narrow, painful, humbling, road of sanctification and I am in agony. But I consider it joy because I am saved by Christ, and I love to please Him with devotion to following Him.” I realize how short I fall of the glory of God, and long to reach it and cling to Christ for my shortcomings. Sanctification and legalism should not touch although they run parallel roads – and they lead to very different places. Seeking Jesus should lead to a joyful, heart-driven legalism that sprouts from faith and love and not from law (although the law will faithfully and joyfully be sought after) or a desire for self-glorification through proud, seemingly self-saving religiosity. Faith, not works, is the source of sanctification. It is not instant, nor is it always constant (though it should be), and it, unlike justification and glorification, is not always very present. I love that I am a Christian and thank God for the distance that He’s taken me down on this path of separating from the power of sin, and I pray that as I look to Him more and more through prayer, His word, church, and devotion I would behold Him in His holiness and be transformed evermore to His likeness that I might be an example of Him in this world and a pleasure to Him in my satisfaction of Him. “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” – 2 Cor 4:16-17

Glorification. Oh how I love this! My heart leaps at the thought of it. Glorification: the time when God will complete my separation from sin. The aforementioned verse explains that this light and momentary affliction (life as a Christian!) is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. The glory of the presence of Christ but also our freedom from these sins and completely and forevermore being declared righteous in His blood and substitution for our wrong! 1 Cor 15:51-53 says, “Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

‘Death is swallowed up in victory.’
‘O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?’ "

Death will lose its sting. We will put on the imperishable bodies of righteousness, of Christ-like glory (in His name). Well, this glorification sounds wonderful - a joyful completion of the pain of sanctification and as a result of the act of justification but when shall this happen? We shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. At the last trumpet, when Christ returns, the dead will be raised and those who have been justified by faith in Jesus will be glorified and made holy, as God is holy. Just like a hardworking student striving for the day of graduation, who walks on the podium and receives, in completion, what has been sought after, and truly, what matters – both for the purpose of the student and for the glory of the school in the student’s success and reward. Although, of course, in the case of glorification we stand before God and in the work of Christ are declared holy, and are able to fully, wholly worship God in truth and oneness. “Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven.” (1 Cor 15:49)

So we look back at this word become. In the verse that says, “that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” And I encourage you to ponder this word and all that it suggests. It’s beginnings and sources, it’s hardships and fire, and it’s wonderful finish and accomplishment and glory. To become the righteousness of God - a word that means instantly, operationally, and conclusively, or perhaps better stated as justification, sanctification and glorification. Let this finish with instruction and encouragement from Paul on how to strive, think and live. “But thanks be to God, a who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” (1 Cor 15: 57-58)

Saturday Night

2009-05-30T22:59:00.001-04:00

This is a Saturday night - a stormy, yet, tranquil one too. A couple weeks back I was pushed by a statement made by a friend as we met over coffee, he said, “I like to not do anything on my Saturday nights, nothing crazy at least. I like to just get ready for church. It makes such a huge difference you know?” I think about that every Saturday night now, especially the nights I have to work. I hate having to work on Saturday evening because it leaves me hardly any time, or energy, to get things ready for meeting with the church before God. This thought pattern was confirmed again shortly after when I read about the “Discipline of Church”, in the book, “Disciplines of a Godly Man”. In this particular chapter on Church, which discussed many different topics ranging from church-hopping, to membership, to the state of the church today, it briefly spoke about how to handle one’s Saturday night in preparing the heart for the next day. Heavily emphasizing the practical steps of doing this like ironing a shirt the night before, or planning what’s for breakfast, putting gas in the car – essentially getting everything ready on Saturday so as to make the Sunday morning, preparing to meet for Church, a time without distraction or frustration. It also, though, puts a great weight on preparing the heart for worship and clearing up all complaints and sins with God before – so to, as much as possible, come before God with a clear mind, ready to worship, be taught, be pushed, be loved, and to partake in communion with fellow believers. A mind and heart without hindrance, ready to wholly give itself to God.

To begin I want to grasp the importance, purpose and relevance of Church. Hebrews 12: 22-24 says, “but you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.” This is Church! We meet with God, judge of all, and Jesus, Who’s blood washes our sins away! Oh how much a fool I would be if I came to this place with anything but worship.

So tomorrow is Sunday. And I will rise, if the Lord wills, to begin the Sabbath with a clear heart and mind, and a plan to bring myself smoothly and without hindrance into the fellowship of believers before a mighty, holy, loving, awesome God.

Steam, Sun and Sparrows

2009-04-16T19:50:00.006-04:00

I look down at my coffee mug that’s sitting quietly in the sunlight. This day is beautiful. There’s something about springtime that stirs life, hope and admiration for silence, simplicity and sobering peacefulness in me. I think it does for a lot of people – the sunlight mixed with peace spurs us into jubilance. Looking at this sunbathed mug of coffee I think of the letter to the Hebrews and the author’s words in his grandeur opening statement - “long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.”

I’m listening for the word of the Son as the Word of God is spread before me. Speak, O Lord. These are “these last days”, and I am seeking. How wonderful are God’s decrees. For the first time I think I understand what that means – though dimly. God speaks His word of power and the universe is upheld. Think of the first decree written in the Bible – “let there be light” and there was light. And I am sitting here in the proof of God’s wonderfully powerful decree to create and sustain!

The sun. The epicenter of our solar system created by God, the Epicenter of all. Not only did He create but also He controls. When Joshua needed more time of sunlight in the battle of Gibeon he pleaded with God, “Sun, stand still” and the sun stood still. “The sun stopped in the midst of heaven and did not hurry to set for about a whole day. There has been no day like it before or since, when the Lord heeded the voice of a man.” The cosmos cowers and capitulates to the control of Christ. To the word of His power. Oh what an awesome God is ours! Awesome in His love and mercy that He hears our depravity and responds with grace. Responds with Jesus faithfully dying on the cross for our unfaithfulness and sin. His lashes for ours. How mighty and wonderful are His decrees!

So I look down at this cup of coffee. The steam spinning and waltzing with the air and sunlight on the black dance floor of my coffee - floating transparently into nothingness. This short-lived steam is completely controlled and upheld by my Saviour and King. My fear is quenched as my longing ears hear the words of the Son. “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.”

Concerning War

2009-04-14T15:47:00.003-04:00

Ever have one of those moments when you feel completely detached from everything around you? When, in all honesty, you feel alien in your own world? Perhaps you see a billboard with an image completely contrary to your moralistic pursuits and your separation from it stones you dead to it. Or perhaps it’s the opposite – you find yourself in a position where you are floored by the awesomeness of God’s creation – and such a sunrise coming up, like a strong man running it’s course, detaches you from the earth you stand upon and your body is clouded by the pleasure of your spirit in worshiping God. A battle in the war between the flesh and the Spirit is won by the Spirit. I love these moments – because I become aware of my spirit and feel the true joy of eternal salvation. For a moment, I understand and the mirror that I see through dimly becomes slightly clearer.
Recently, I’ve been challenged by the call to walk by the Spirit. Spurred on by some teaching from Galatians 5 “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” And I think about how true this is in my own life. How my pursuits of righteousness are often so opposed to the things I want to do!
So, the more I think about it (it has been constantly on my mind) the more I see how walking by the Spirit means more than just walking. It means everything – it means while walking, running, eating, sleeping, playing, working, thinking, in sickness, health, joy, pain, in community, and while alone. If we live by the Spirit so let us also walk by the Spirit.
Of the many questions that could be asked here I have asked myself this: “Why?” I love to ask that question. Why would I want to do something that puts myself in such a state of war? What on earth is beneficial to walking by the Spirit in contrast to walking by the flesh? Of the many answers I will give three.

1) Being a Good Steward of What God Has Given
For a Christian there is the responsibility to - 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” God has provided the ability for us to walk by the Spirit. In His faithfulness He will not lead you where you cannot escape and in that there is no element of the flesh that the Spirit cannot stand up against and defeat. We must be good stewards of such God given ability.

2) The Worship of It
Paul says this to the Philippians, “therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:12,13). The working of God in us pleases Him. It is for God’s good pleasure that we work (and are worked on) out our salvation. Romans 12:1 echoes this same idea – “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” Notice how is the presenting of your bodies that is a spiritual worship. It inclines me to think that denying the flesh and walking in contrast to the flesh by the Spirit you are practicing your “spiritual worship”. Oh what better way to worship our holy God in spirit and in truth than to commit your body, mind, and life to Him?

3) The Benefit of It!
Keep your eye on Christ! “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Walking in the Spirit is fruitful beyond the life of all fruit. In Galatians 5:21 Paul says this about walking in the flesh, “I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” On the other hand John says in 1 John 1:7 “if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” How then do we walk in the light? (That’s a whole other blog post!) I think the answer can be summed up in what Paul goes on to say in Galatians 5 “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” And those who belong to Christ will inherit the Kingdom that is His.
One thing I wish to clarify at this point is that our salvation in Christ is not founded by our deeds but by our faith in Him (Rom 5:1) – and our walking by the Spirit is beneficial in our confirmation of our faith, the strengthening of our faith, the proclamation of our faith, and the pleasure of God in seeing and suffering our faith by warring our flesh.

So - walking by the Spirit. I believe the surface is barely scratched in the depth and value of such a life. What trials and sufferings are ahead of us who choose such a life – but what joy we can count it in the hope and life of Jesus Christ! May it be so that as we continue to walk by the Spirit and in fear and trembling (for reverence and worship of God) work out how to do so we will often be stoned dead to the world in our separation from it and floored by the glory of God that is all around us! Dedicating and worshiping and benefiting as we walk by the Spirit and no longer by the flesh.

“Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience a with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” – Colossians 1:10-14

Hear My Heart

2009-04-03T20:51:00.004-04:00

Perhaps this will reboot my failing attempts at blogging? I have tried.

I felt passionately about this song and didn't put much work into recording it - it was really only the second time playing it too.

Saviour and King

Holy God do I see with
Two eyes or just with one?
Do I cherish all Your statutes?
Do I hold Your law inside?

Oh the weakness of my frail heart!
Oh all my wayward wanderings!
That I see treasure beyond all measure
And trade it all for speckles of dust

Jesus, Jesus
What a Saviour!
What a King!
Jesus, Jesus
Save me, lead me
From my sin and wanderings

Mighty Lord I’ve seen Your goodness
With my ear I’ve heard Your call
For You are jealous, would You purge me
Purge me from my selfish desires

And as go out like a sheep in the wild
Bearing nothing but Your Name on my chest
Would You lead me, like Your child
With pillars of cloud and pillars of fire

Jesus, Jesus
What a Saviour!
Oh what a King!
Jesus, Jesus
Save me, lead me
From my sin and wanderings
From my sin and wanderings

And who is man that, You’re mindful of him?
And what is man, but dust to disappear?
Oh my soul moans, hear it’s groaning!
Hear my heart Lord, that longs for You!

I Thought I'd Write for Good Things, but I Didn't Write at All

2009-03-16T21:32:00.004-04:00

I’m poor at blogging. I took a break from Poetry Tuesday because it had consumed this blog’s purpose, I should have foreseen that doing so would cause me to cease blogging altogether. I fail.

But here’s the news: I’m back. I have been convicted of my lying and lethargy and I, again, seek to be a good steward of the gifts and callings that the Lord has given to me. I feel a very real and urgent call to be writing and I have been told I have an ability to (though I have my disputes) – which I have (existing or not), for the past weeks, fearfully and slothfully buried in the ground (Matthew 25:18). I love to write; it is not out of obligation alone that I start back up, though I’m using obligation as my first gear. May God who made me, enable me, and be glorified by me.

I Think I Sing For Good Things, So I Think I Sing In Vain

2009-02-04T11:44:00.002-05:00

I skipped Poetry Tuesday on purpose. Shocking I know - and just when things seemed to be finding a groove. The reason for me intentionally breaking routine and, well, breaking my word is that I intend to take a brief sabbatical from posting poetry in order to catch my breath and further analyze my purpose in doing it! Perhaps I will post some real blogs that I've been brewing but haven't had the time to write out because of my dedication to recording.

So I apologize for that and I promise you'll be hearing from me!

Poetry Tuesday - "Burying Hearts"

2009-01-27T22:18:00.004-05:00

Burying Hearts

I come home on a Wednesday
To find the curtains open
So I went and closed them
And washed the dirt from my hands

The water flows counter-clockwise
I can see it with my eyes closed
I stop to think about beginnings
But all I feel are dirty hands

I bury hearts on Tuesdays
Right on down to the next week
Been doing it ever since I was left alone
Ever since I broke the earth

I took a job counting bottles
Down at the town’s grocery store
But every bottle I coldly held
Felt like a hammer full of rage

She said I couldn’t take it
She said I hadn’t done enough
I think it’s ok, I don’t mind
I’m just burying her heart next to mine
I’m just burying her heart next to mine

I bury hearts on Tuesdays
Right on down to the next week
Been doing it ever since I was left alone
Ever since I broke the earth

Now Is The Time Of War

2009-01-21T10:50:00.003-05:00

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, "He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us"? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. - James 4:1-10

I am at war with myself and with the schemes of the devil in order to have peace with God and with those around me. It is for love of God that I go to war, and by God's love that I stand and fall.

Love In The Time Of War
(Tele Version)

Photo credit goes to Dave Armstrong. Brilliant pic Da-eh!-ave.

Poetry Tuesday - "Love In The Time Of War"

2009-01-20T23:05:00.002-05:00

And he said, "Listen all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the Lord to you, 'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's. Tomorrow go down against them. Behold, they will come up by the ascent of Ziz. You will find them at the end of the valley, east of the wilderness of Jeruel. You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.' Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you." - 2 Chronicles 20: 15 - 17

I don't fully know what to say before this one. One of my best friends was affected by the aforementioned passage of scripture that she read during a time of trial, she shared it with me along with her humility and reverence of God that followed. This was inspired by that and written for her in the damp and dark of our basement.

Love In The Time Of War

Time keeps on rhyming
I can’t break this routine
I’m bare foot on the glass of all these broken dreams

This disc is skipping,
Keeps on running the same scene
It just keeps playing and playing and playing like a demons machine

Help me break free tonight
Help me to see the light
If I start running for a better way
Help me to never again go astray
Oh do this all for Your name's sake

It seems there’s never been
A night that’s dark like this
My soul has been swallowed in a much greater abyss

The earth wet and cold now
I can taste it on my lips
It may be quiet but all I can hear is that warm demon's hiss

Help me break free tonight
Help me to see the light
If I start running for a better way
Help me to never again go astray
I need Your love in the time of war

All I have wanted I lay at Your feet
This is love in the time of war
To see You glorified is my greatest need
This is love in the time of war
For to live it is Christ and to die it is gain
This is love in the time of war
Though these demons attack me and laugh at my defeat
I have love in the time of war
You said “Don’t be afraid, don’t be dismayed”
You are bigger than the world’s greatest horde
I need Your love in the time of war
Your love in the time of war
Now is the time of war

A Clearer Mirror

2009-01-15T17:35:00.005-05:00

I think sometimes a poem and a song can reflect thoughts and emotion in such a way that it becomes, for the first time, visible. In my opinion, music and words can portray something about yourself that you didn't even know was there. It can be a clear mirror of the soul, showing what you could not see without it. Shockingly laying truth bare and visible.

Like fear you didn't know was there, but was true.

Firefly (Shed Some Light)

Poetry Tuesday - "Firefly (Shed Some Light)"

2009-01-13T22:18:00.003-05:00

It is definitely not the season for fireflies. On such a snowy, cold and blustery day like today (where I am) it's odd that I would finish this song (of all the ones that are to be finished!) that was started during the summer as I sat on my back porch watching fireflies. But for some reason the rest of the poetry came out tonight and the melody and chords followed very naturally and closely behind.

But I still sleep on the floor alone and I'm still just like a firefly, whether it's cold or not.

To the glory of the Father of Lights.

Firefly (Shed Some Light)

I’ve read all about the kings of man
How each of them has fallen into sand
All these kingdoms gone, gone, gone
To the kingdom come!

Well, I’m no king and I have no throne
In fact, I sleep on the floor alone
But when I leave the door
I still put on my fool's gold crown

Well I’m just like a firefly
A star below the sky
I give off some light
But quickly die
Shed some light tonight

I can’t explain what I want to mean
I can’t complain about what I lack to see
I want to see more
But I Keep wearing these masks. So am I free?

Nothing’s as it seems today
All my whites are looking more like gray
And the end of time
Is ticking down the line

Well I’m just like a firefly
A star below the sky
I give off some light
But quickly die
Shed some light tonight

I keep saying I’m not afraid
I keep saying I’m not afraid
Oh Lord
I’m wandering in the dark
Father of lights
Shed some light tonight

Poetry Tuesday - "More Grace Than Time"

2009-01-06T20:59:00.004-05:00

There are some things you have to say with extra caution. This poem/song is one of those where I think it's necessary to do a wee bit of explaining.

The title and major theme is "more grace than time". When I say that there is more grace than time, in reference to the grace of Jesus, there are two things that I don't mean and one thing that I do.

Two things I do not mean.
1) That if you are not a Christian this all-encompassing, unlimited, completely thorough grace that Jesus died on the cross to offer to those who call Him Lord does not yet apply to you... The song is to be sung and acknowledged from a saved by Jesus perspective. I know that that is blunt, but it's not unchangeable. Jesus came to earth and died a sinner's death for sinners - to save sinners like us and give us grace more bountiful than time.
"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." - Romans 10:9

2) That because of the unquenchable grace of Jesus we should continue to sin. May it never be so. I say that there's more grace of time to exalt Christ, in reverent repentance, for covering the sins I have committed not as an excuse to continue sinning.
"What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life." - Romans 6:1-4

The one thing I do!
1) That "the least of Christ's graces is greater than my greatest sins". That despite my past and the time I have here on earth, Jesus has acted and has placed Himself as a substitute for my sins. His grace is able to make my scarlet sins white as snow (Isaiah 1:18).
"Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. For as by the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man's obedience the many will be made righteous. Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." - Romans 5:18-21

And so after much clarification, and in the humble shadow of powerful scripture, a poem and a song.

More Grace Than Time

I once gave my heart away
When I was much younger than I am today
The truth came down like rain
Slowly falling on my brain, it was lust

I was spoiled from the inside out
All my love perverted in lust and doubt
But most liars best know fact
And I knew Love’s truest act; it saved my soul

Oh I gave it all away
In my sorrows to find
There’s more grace than time
There’s more grace than time

There’s no strength in muscle and bone
There’s no hope in kisses and pleasures throne
So let’s start a mutiny
To live for love in purity, come on you and me!

Oh I gave it all away
In my sorrows I did find
That there is more grace than time
There’s more grace than time

Oh You gave Yourself away
Your stripes to release mine
You gave me more grace than time
You gave me more grace than time

The Last Grains In This Hour Glass

2008-12-31T17:54:00.003-05:00

Well here's the recording of Sand done on the nylon strings. It's a song of sand and Rock for the end of this year as the last grains of sand drop through the hour glass of 2008.

To the glory of the Everlasting God.

Sand

Poetry Tuesday - "Sand"

2008-12-30T23:38:00.004-05:00

I'm excited to post this one. It's definitely not the greatest in terms of poetry but it successfully expressed an emotion that was felt at the time that it was written and takes us into a type of song that I'm particularly fond of - those that tell more of a story-statement than just a statement.

Sand

I came to this land but I don’t know why
It’s cold and it’s weary and it begs me to die
The one you think loves you might not love at all
The one you think is weak might be the last to fall
I hold a fist of barley and I hold a fist of rye
I hold a fist of hope and a fist that says it’s a lie

I want to move on but the engine won’t take
I want to break the silence but the silence won’t break
I want to feel your warmth but all I feel is cold
I want to be young but I keep getting old

I used to have faith but dead faith it fails
I used to have a house built of rusty nails
I said “sand is my friend at least it stays the same
It doesn’t break down it doesn’t falsely claim”
I’m cold and I’m weary, I’m beat and I’m sorry
The end has no clearing ‘cause sand has false glory

I want to move on but the engine won’t take
I want to break the silence but the silence won’t break
I want to feel your warmth but all I feel is cold
I want to be young but I keep getting old

I know in the end nothing will matter
None of this noise, none of this chatter
You say there’s a way, show me now please
I’m begging you Father now I’m on my knees

I’m tired, my God, of trying my luck
Take this sand and make it a rock

A Song For Christmas?

2008-12-24T18:20:00.004-05:00

I think Christmas is a funny time in the music scene. We find a lot of songs to bundle into the genre of Christmas from "Here Comes Santa Clause" to "Silent Night", from "Frosty The Snowman" to "O Come All Ye Faithful" and I can't help but shut them all out of my ears (if I have the choice) in my frustration of irreverent commercialized worship music. I don't want to hear the mainstream crooning of pop stars singing about chestnuts and snow and warm fires and mistletoe because it has no relevance to the meaning of the celebration of Christmas. And my attitude towards the music that is relevant to this celebration is spoiled by that. I have a lot of trouble with this, because I think that we should rejoice as a world about the birth of Jesus... but in truth and reverence!

I am glad that this whole music conundrum will pass soon (for 10 months) but in the meantime I want to be singing my share of words of praise, acknowledgment and in reverence of the birth of Christ into the world! I am going to church and will join in the anthem of the birth of the Savior, being sung around the world tonight. Oh what a glorious thing it is!

----

I also have a song freshly written to add to the multitude (but still not nearly enough) of songs written for this event.

I promised myself I would post my first take without any editing or layering as an act of worship and trust and so here it is.

Immanuel

Poetry Tuesday - "Immanuel"

2008-12-23T23:04:00.004-05:00

This was just written now. I will add to the noise another song.

I'll post the audio tomorrow afternoon.

Immanuel

I can’t grasp the importance of that night
When the guiding star shone dim above the Light
I know the Lord intended it to be that way
So sovereign, so subtle in His ways
I will praise You like You’ve taught me to
Like a bell is meant to ring
Like a bird loves to sing
To my Lord, Immanuel
Here with us, Immanuel

To us in sin a Child is born!
For a life of love, a crown of thorns
I thank You my Father, for giving us Your Son
For the gift of grace and victory won
The world will see the Your greatness Lord
Like the stars shine
The glory is Thine
Jesus Christ, Immanuel
Here with us, Immanuel

Glory to God in the highest
Glory to God in the highest
Glory to God in the highest
Glory to God in the highest
And on earth peace
Among those with whom He is pleased

An Article To Consider

2008-12-19T16:40:00.003-05:00

My Dad sent me this article today about worship and I thought it was worth reading.

www.newoxfordreview.org/article.jsp?did=0202-harwood

Fixing What Needs To Be Fixed

2008-12-17T15:36:00.003-05:00

Why did I even try to make it all fancy as if it made it better?

I tried so hard to make an impressive song and failed terribly at it... here's the way the song was written and the way it should be I think. One take with a mic and a broken guitar.

Lost and Found

From A Basement On Forest Hill

2008-12-17T12:56:00.003-05:00

Okay! Finally I will post the song. It's far from perfect - but maybe that's a good thing?

I hope you enjoy it and that God is glorified by it.

Lost and Found

Poetry Tuesday - "Shadows"

2008-12-16T12:26:00.002-05:00

I bring my regrets in saying that the audio for last week (Lost and Found) has proven to be very difficult. It is almost finished and so far has taken 4 complete re-starts, all with at least a dozen takes, the invention of a harmonica box rice shaker, the loss of a harmonica, the breaking of a guitar (not a joke), the disappearance of my self-confidence as an electric guitar player, bassist and tambourine player, and a lot of learning. But I'm almost done, I'll be posting it this week Lord willing! (I'm not going to quit).

In the meantime I'll post a poem for this week that was written last week. The audio demo has already been started and will be up here soon too.

Shadows

It’s morning and the shadows are drawn
Beside the false light of dew drops in the sun on the lawn
It’s been so long
Where’d I go wrong?
Has it been too long?
'Cause the shadows are drawn

There are white lights fading up above
The shadows are showing what once was love
Do we belong?
With shadows so long?
But this is your song
The shadows are drawn

There are places the dark can’t touch at all
I’ll be singing for you
I’ll be singing for you
Where the shadows don’t fall
There may be vices that are standing oh so tall
But I’ll be singing of you
I’ll be singing of you
Where the shadows don’t fall

When it’s evening and the sun fails the test
In the cold and dark world of moth and of rust
Will I belong?
So close in your arms?
After all of these wrongs?
Tight in your arms?
Thank God it’s your song
Thank God I belong
And they will be gone
These shadows so drawn

Poetry Tuesday - "Lost and Found"

2008-12-09T21:39:00.002-05:00

It's been a week already?

I can't but laugh as I write this one out. I've spent the last few hours trying to make a decent recording of this poem, along the song that goes with it, and have failed thoroughly. It's definitely the kind of song that needs a band (and people who can actually play their instruments!). I hope you're not disappointed though and I am certainly not going to stop trying... it'll be up here this week Lord willing.

Dave (Da-eh-ave) and Megan (Megs and bacon) this one was written in N.Ireland (on your guitar Dave, as I recall) and was played quite a bit around the house, so this round is for you guys cause I miss you (to reminisce). It's a simple one, no metaphors or odd allusions, it was written as a song of redemption, thankfulness, and joy based on the parable of Jesus - the prodigal son.

Lost and Found

My mind keeps on saying I'm a failure

And my feet keep on taking me away

I receive Your estate and I throw it all away

For treasures of this world, for pleasures of myself

How many wrongs can make me a failure?

And how many steps can be to far?

How many times can I throw Your estate away?

Before You say, you're no child of Mine

I'm sorry my great Father

For all the wrong I've done

I'm sorry my great Father

For what I've become

For what I've done

Hope seems to be a false saviour

Cause hope isn't always all I need

It's hope that's broken down almost all of my dreams

It's You I want, It's You I need

Oh how abounding are Your mercies!

Oh how far does Your love stretch!

You are King of kings, You are Lord of lords

And I'm Your child, lost and found

I'm Your child, in graces anew

I Bought A Microphone

2008-12-07T21:40:00.005-05:00

As the title declares... I have made the purchase of a condenser microphone. I still don't really know how to work it all (and I'm certainly no musician or producer - hence the frequent popping sounds and poorly mixed instruments) but I thought I'd share with you the song behind the poem that I posted just a few days ago (check previous post). I spent an hour or so in the basement laying this down and hopefully you'll enjoy it (and maybe you will if you're not too critical). Perhaps it'll be a weekly thing?

To the glory of God.

(Yes, there's a picture of a monkey. It would only let me post this as a video so I improvised... with the monkey.)

We Don't Remember (Your Glory Won't Die)

Poetry Tuesday - "We Don't Remember"

2008-12-02T18:13:00.003-05:00

Well, I've officially declared Tuesday the day of Poetry!

Perhaps it's not really official, but if you stop by here every Tuesday I'll have an original poem posted. More often than not the poem is actually lyrics to song and therefore if you don't like poetry that isn't structured (generally cubist) then I'm sorry. Deal with it.

Today's song/poem is called "We Don't Remember" and I've chosen it as my first post for two reasons.

Firstly. It was written when I first called this blog "Vanity Of Vanities" and has a lot of connections to the purpose and thought behind this blog. They're both very obviously based on Ecclesiastes.

Secondly. It reflects my heart on the matter of original artwork and it's purpose (and lack of purpose!). This poem is foundational for the poems that are to follow (if the Lord wills). Naturally as a poet, I will not elaborate and leave that for you!

We Don't Remember (Your Glory Won't Die)

I thought I had it all together
I thought I’d seen it all through
I had ten lovers but the love wasn’t true
And I knew it too

The sun goes up and down
The wind goes round and round
All that lives returns to the ground
And so does renown

So I’m learning how to fear
Cause the end is drawing near
And we don’t remember
So this is for You
This is for You

I thought I wrote this song
I thought maybe You’d play along
I sang ten thousand songs that I thought belonged
I was wrong

I’ve been chasing after wind
For a name in humanity
I put hope in vanity only to see
That it’s a dead sea

So I’m learning how to fear
Cause the end is drawing near
And we don’t remember
So this is for You
This is for You

And the dust returns to the ground it came from
And the spirit returns to God who gave it
Your glory won’t die
Your glory won’t die

The War Over Time In The "Span Of Life"

2008-11-28T00:29:00.005-05:00

I think time is worth warring over. Though I’m not sure I would be so rash to say that time is valuable. It can be valuable, dependent on what is being done with it, similar to money. Taking a look at the The Widow’s Offering in Mark 12, a smaller amount of money can be more valuable than an abundant amount if it is handled with faith and as a servant. Time, also, if handled with faith and as a servant, can be something that is valuable in a non-quantitative way.
As a blogger the last few months have clearly not been too fruitful and the reason I begin my comeback blog (and all three people who read this get really excited) with the topic of warring over time is because it would appear there has been a lot of time lost, and the casualties are all the great things that could have been had I warred more intensely, more earnestly, more passionately, with more love, with more faith, with more purpose! But no. Time passed. Each day with it’s individual minutes filled up with all the things I call “not much” and each 60 minutes filling up the hours of the days of the months that have trudged on like a hundred mile-long train, unstoppable, carrying all my actions. Briefly, let me desperately defend myself against my own use of words – the last few months have not been a waste, I have been, for the most part, well. Just not as well as I could have been, and definitely not as active – the train could have been longer considering the distance it has gone, though I will not dwell in regret. And I apologize for my lethargic blogging.
So again, I think time is worth warring over. I have many reasons for thinking this, but in this post (which will not be nearly as long as the previous) I will highlight three.
Firstly. Time is the medium in which we live, and therefore the medium we must use.
“Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:5,6) Loaded. Not only must we make the best use of our time when dealing with outsiders but our speech needs to be seasoned with salt and wise. Things that God does, but woe to the person that thinks God will do it without faith and without time and without discipline, both discipline in your actions and discipline on you. We need to know and we need to act, and what better time to learn and to do than the time that is now? Time is the medium in which we live, so fight for it for the purpose and glory of God. Don’t lose that war.
Secondly. Time is dear.
“But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come. It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to stay awake. Therefore stay awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning— lest he come suddenly and find you asleep. And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake.” (Mark 13:32-37) Time for us is far from unlimited. Whether were talking about Revelations, end-time stuff, or the end of your life. Therefore time is limited and dear; there is a certain amount of it that will be used, whether sleeping or awake. War against sleepiness, in the war against time. Don’t be anxious about it but pray. Pray for faith, pray for strength for righteous living, pray for usefulness in God’s goodness and His plan of mercy, pray for mercy and for a thankful heart - cause “which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” (Matthew 6:27)
Thirdly. “The days are evil.”
In the 5th chapter of Ephesians, Paul, the writer, talks about holy living and walking in love. An extremely potent and challenging section of scripture that originally inspired this post (and the next! If the Lord wills it to be written). Paul says right after he quotes from various places in Isaiah (a hasty warning to “awake, O sleeper”) to “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” (v. 15-17) Why does Paul say that the “days are evil”? I am no theologian or scholar, but I think Paul is telling us that we need to make war against the days and make the best use of our time, because if we don’t we fall right inline with the days, with the pattern, with the routine, and we become what the days are: evil. So then pray earnestly to understand the will of the Lord as we walk carefully. Make the best use of your time, war with the days.
So I think time is worth warring over. Warring against lethargy and selfishness, against pride and self-righteousness, and all sorts of evil (the “rulers”, “authorities”, “cosmic powers”, and “spiritual forces of evil” as mentioned in Ephesians 6) and sin. What though are we warring for? And I will close with this answer. That Jesus Christ died for our sins and that even though we are failures and sinful and not-deserving of God’s love, God’s wrath is satisfied in Jesus. Jesus died so that we could have mercy and God could remain perfectly just, to the glory of His name. We may grit our teeth and fight but in the love of Jesus and in His full mercy we have won the war against evil, death, and time. So, again, why do we keep warring on? Because Jesus has commanded us to for the glory of His name, and because of the glory of His name. I live for Jesus, and for the glorification of His name, and I will war for it against time, until the time comes when I have finished the good fight, and the race has been run, and the Lord calls me home. War over time for the glory of Jesus' name.

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” (1 Peter 1:6-9)

In Northern Ireland

2008-08-17T00:40:00.001-04:00

I am aware of the things that the boy sees. He loves to watch the sky – be it stars or clouds, or the sun’s rising and falling – it is his favorite book to read. The sky is a good thing, and well, good things are good. Let me make it clear to you now that I don’t dislike good things. It may be true that I am a debaucher of them, and I use them, and pervert them, so that people, like the boy, can have something to see themselves comparatively beside – I simply use good things to show the trueness of evil. You may say I am not good, that because I so deceivingly use good then I must be evil – but who are you to speak? I have cleared the minds of histories greatest, and brought out justice in my most triumphant moments, sinners go to where they deserve – many have heard my voice in their last moments, and many more will. I have brought the purest tears from the worst thieves and I am always there to remind them that despite the purity of their tears their faces are still dirt. Cause all dirty thieves will remain dirty thieves when they hear my voice, and that is how I live.
The boy watches the sky now. He is a sad case and a rare one. While he has heard my voice, he rarely listens. Nor does he listen to the voices of my brothers anymore - Ignorance and Pride. You see, I have a problem - a problem that is both worse and not as bad as it seems. My enemy, Mercy, whispers as well. And this problem is not as bad as it seems because for people to be able to hear Mercy’s voice, they must first have heard and understood Mercy’s story. My problem is worse than it seems because those who have heard and understood Mercy’s story are almost impossible to work with, because Mercy can always whisper louder than I can.
The boy has heard Mercy’s story, which is the doing of Mercy (for Mercy chooses who will hear His story). And because of that the boy has gone to Northern Ireland for the sole purpose of better understanding Mercy’s story and to tell it to as many people as possible – all to stop me. He sits on the shore of the North Atlantic and watches rain fall in the distance. A mile before him, to the west, the cliffs rise and fall giving the impression that there is more greatness in the kingdom of the earth than there has ever been in the kingdom of the world, though upon the cliffs sits the Mezzina Temple. Silhouetted by the setting sun, it stands with a simple glory in the yellow rain filled sky. The rain breaks the sky into different shades, as it falls at a slight angle onto the Temple and the sea two-hundred feet below. The setting sun is reflected onto the water, chopped up by the waves it glistens like a flashlight in a dark smoky room. The black clouds linger above casting terror in the ground below. And it all points to him on the bench - his dirty hair shaking in the wind coming up from the storm. In his cold and shivering hands he holds a letter.
“It is wonderful is it not?” I lurch to his side, and whisper in his ear. It’s a wonder he doesn’t feel the warmth of my breath.
He takes his time replying, “Yes, it is. But Guilt, I will not speak with you.”
“Boy, I wish only to admire with you what is good!” I whisper loudly to him.
The grass on a hill to the East dances in the wind, like a school of fish or a flock of birds, all moving as one – the sight temporarily consumes his speech.
“You are right Guilt, it is wonderful.”
With that the boy reaches into his pocket and pulls out his headphones, and puts them in his ears.
“Boy, I can whisper in the loudest rooms, or the heaviest storms. Your attempts are useless.”
“Are they Guilt? I suppose I don’t need my music or podcasts to remind me of Mercy. I know Mercy, and I know you are nothing but a liar.”
“Boy, I am no liar, I whisper truth! Might I remind you that you are a liar? Need I speak of the times you have lied to those whom you allegedly love? Or have lied to defend your selfishness? You are the thief. I am not. You are the dirty one here, you are the wretch - I didn’t want to bring it up, but you have left me no choice. You can cover your tracks and say all that you will about righteousness and a new life, but have you changed your ways? You are still the sinner you have always been. You listen to the voices of death and in your weakness you listen. You, with your voice may praise God, but your heart? What of your heart Boy? What can you say of your heart? If you can tell me honestly, that is if you are capable of not lying, that your heart is pure and honest. Then I will leave because I will have no case.”
Silence sat between us like the ocean beside us.
“You are right Guilt.”
The Boy sat in a quiet resolution, for much longer than I expected. The wind ran, without hesitation, through his clothing and covered his body like a cold blanket - I watched him shiver. He spoke again,
“You know in about two weeks I’m going to be going back to my home, to the people who have known me and raised me and loved me.” He crossed his legs. “When I left I was lost. So utterly lost, and to worsen my being lost I had little awareness of the fact that I was lost - your brother Ignorance played his cards well on me. Somewhere along the line I stepped a couple steps off the course and, without knowing it, I ended up much further off course that I had ever feared. That’s why I came here Guilt, to Northern Ireland; I thought that I could run from being lost and hopefully find my true self; I think you told me that. But no - no matter how far someone runs, no matter where someone hides or what costumes they wear, they will always have themselves with them. What a terrible realization for someone trying to run from being lost. What a terribly stark realization it was for me.
You are right about what you said about me. I am a sinner, and my heart is a cold and terrible thing much of the time. But that is why Mercy is so great. Mercy – the proof of Love – the reason you have no power over me. Though you speak truth in whispering to me my sins, I will reply with truth.”
He pulled his little yellow Bible from the pocket in his coat and opened it to the middle, and began to read.
“The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the people of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.”
We both sat in silence. I knew that my grip on the Boy was slipping and the Boy truly began to see his need for Mercy. I had to speak and fight, I opened my mouth but before I could utter a sound the Boy spoke.
“No, Guilt, let me speak. Let me tell you where I am, and who I am. I am sinner, as you have said. Oh such a case you would have against me if it weren’t for Mercy. Such guilt you could put on me that I would have no hope and such false tears. You know very well why I came here, to Northern Ireland, but let me tell you that what I found was not what I expected – nor was it my doing – but God in mercy showed me what He showed me here. It began when I first started to hear the voice of Ignorance, your brother. I never knew he was there whispering to me, he had such a good grasp on me you know. He clouded my eyes. I must have been one of his prize achievements! A Boy who knows so much but understands so little! I knew Mercy’s story but I hadn’t yet begun my yearning to understand it, I was comfortable in my ignorance. I knew Theology but it wasn’t real. Mercy broke Ignorance’s grasp over me by showing me the danger of my ignorance. The Vineyard church helped with that, it revealed to me elements of Mercy’s story that I had never even conceived - or that I had known somewhere back in the corner of my mind but had never seen, nor did I think I would ever see it. Oh my ignorance! When I came here I thought that “Healing On The Streets” meant that we went around and picked up garbage and covered up graffiti! I was wrong. Ignorance started to lose it’s grip when I started to see Mercy in action and men and woman being healed by the Holy Spirit. When I went to Church that one evening and watched as the Pastor prophesied. I was torn to pieces by how real and awesome God is. This simple revelation lead me to leave behind all that I had known and re-learn, to begin fresh with doctrine and Christian living.
I started to read the Word of God in new ways. This little yellow Bible has changed everything about me. When I asked ‘Who is God? And who am I in relation to that?’ – that is when Ignorance no-longer had any grip on my life. I started to burn with a passion to know truth! I was through lies. And what a bitter and dark and cold time it was. Truth does not become real during laughter and in the midst of comfort but it becomes real during tears and long hours of suffering and praying and reading God’s word. My Lord and Saviour said himself that ‘If you abide in My word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’. There is nothing I desired more than to be a disciple. That’s what I am doing here is it not? Being a disciple? Going about and doing the work of God? So I must abide in the word!
This was only the beginning though Guilt, as you know well, your other brother Pride truly started to put his claws around my heart in these moments. Because as I grew so rapidly so did my ego and my perception of things and people became one of inferiority. You see, as I started to read the Bible and truly seek truth I saw terrible things. That even reality might not be just as it seems – the reality of being Charismatic, the reality of being Christian, the reality of being righteous, the reality of being saved. As I realized the multiple realms and opinions of reality and I sifted them through the Bible I saw that there were many who had fallen somehow, perhaps by your doing Guilt, into a false reality. Myself, being oh so much greater than these stupid errors, fell into the deadly trap of Pride. I read through my journals Guilt, and I see the times that Mercy helped tear me from such errors, an awkward and very painful process. Awkward because I had to balance myself between self-righteous rebuking and humble admonishment with those whom I was working with, as well as, learn to hear my own errors – which were more than I could ever have thought. It was painful because I realized the complete and utter sovereignty of God in this time, and had to learn to die to myself for the glory of Jesus’ name – a process that I have not even come close to completing.”
The boy reached into his bag, lying on the bench beside him, and pulled out a small worn-out notebook. I looked over his shoulder as he turned to the date of January 16th. He read, “There is no freedom. I try to settle down and come in prayer – to speak to my Creator and cover and express my frustration and pain – and it ends with me whispering softly – perhaps in tears to my pillow or knees – that I will settle to be dead to this life. That I will be content with death to my dreams – to perhaps in no way ever be a success or worldly satisfied and pleased if that is what the Lord would have me do. For I believe it is better to be pathetic and nothing in life if that is truly what the Lord wants of you than it would be to be great and respected with admiration if that was not what the Lord truly wanted of you. If only I could grasp it with my heart – but my dreams won’t die and my desires won’t dim and I can’t let go! And yet again I don’t know why. With every sacrifice there is selfishness, with every surrender there is self-righteousness, and with every fiber of my body I am tired of myself. I want to be God’s! But I don’t know how! Because people look at me with sympathy, ‘his dreams are so big but he is not.’ I fall short of even the world’s mark. So in the end all I have is truly all I’ll ever need – grace and love from the only One who is able to save – Jesus.”
Pride will always plague me. I will never, until I die, be truly rid of Ignorance. There are dozen’s of other whisperers that I must deal with as well, some behind me and some to come. You Guilt will be with me as long as I am a sinner but your claims on me are useless as long as I cling to God’s mercy. Mercy’s story – the story of Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection as the truest act of love and mercy. You are nothing Guilt, to me and those saved, you may justify yourself by your claims of only putting things into perspective – but in the end all you are is a mutilated and perverted version of the God given gift of conscience. You don’t lead people to repentance or joy - that is Mercy and Love, you lead people to suicide and regret. Leave me guilt and let me sit in awe of what God has made before me, and what God has done for me, and what God is yet to do. You may say that I tell Jesus’ story, the gospel, “Mercy’s story” to stop you and your kind from preying on people – but yet again you are wrong Guilt, I do it to glorify Jesus. I see that you are shaking Guilt, because you have lost me. Well let me read to you from a letter that I have written to a friend back home in Canada, though I don’t think I will send it, I will read you the ending of it now as you leave.”
With that the Boy took the letter back into his hands, shuffling to the last page. It’s true that I shook, because it is rare that someone come to love Mercy so truly. I had no choice but to leave then because I had no claim to the Boy, but as I got up and left I heard his voice ringing and reading to me.
“I have been studying more than ever before, and I put the word of God on my mind and in my heart and God has changed me. He has renewed my mind. Any wisdom is naught beside the fear of God. My salvation is worked out in fear and trembling. God is all sovereign and has tested me, often with fire, but also with the most terrible cold. Pain has been God’s megaphone, and He has used distance to show me how completely I need Him. There is nothing more important than Jesus Christ in my life. When I once was the center I am now an epicycle with Jesus Christ as the glorious center. I once was asleep, but now I am awaking and I find everything drenched in the glory of God, my joy and my fear are overflowing. I am awed by everything, from the speech of a child to the billowing sea. And the reason is that the intensity and epical glory of God is becoming clearer. I sang to God Psalm 13 everyday, trusting and longing, “when will this light come?” And in a life wrecking wind, the clouds are being pushed and the light is coming through, and now I see that it was not the wind that was life changing, nor was it the clouds or shadows, but the light. Jesus Christ is Lord, and I have been changed in His never ceasing mercy.”

Vanity of Vanities, "Why", and Fear

2008-08-12T01:13:00.005-04:00

I’m trying to understand Ecclesiastes – which is to say I’m trying to understand “Why”. Every so often I turn to the pages between Proverbs and Song of Solomon and take a good read of one of my favorite books of the Bible. Written by Solomon (the author calls himself a “son of David” and a “King over Israel in Jerusalem” – since Solomon was the only son of David to rule over all of Israel, and not just Judah, we can safely assume it’s him). There are a couple things I’ve gathered (among many!) about Solomon from the book of 1 Kings - firstly he’s a son of David and Bathsheba and, secondly, he is the wisest man ever. God asks Solomon when he becomes king what He can give to him, Solomon doesn’t ask for riches or a long life (as he could have), but instead he asks for “an understanding mind to govern your people, that I [Solomon] may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?" (1 Kings 3)
This pleases the Lord, and He replies saying “I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you. I give you also what you have not asked, both riches and honor, so that no other king shall compare with you, all your days.”
Solomon was a great King, 1 Kings explains his kingdom and the things that Solomon did. The act he is likely most renowned for is the building of the First Temple, which he oversaw. Somewhere in his ruling he wrote the book of Ecclesiastes, and I am glad he did. If you haven’t noticed this blog is titled Vanity of Vanities, with the subtitle of “All is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?” Both are quotes from Ecclesiastes, along with the quote at the right side of the blog. Lately, I have been finding myself reading this more and more – which I suppose is not a bad thing (whoever said you can read the Bible too much?), but I must be careful with this particular book. The reason is that Ecclesiastes isn’t the happiest piece of writing, nor is it hopeful. It is very philosophical and makes a lot of broad sweeping statements about mankind and the nature of the soul – and, well, “why”. Why we are here – the meaning of life.
Ecclesiastes is full of wisdom, though Solomon ironically says that wisdom is meaningless (although much greater than foolishness), he says repeatedly that things are “meaningless” and that there is “nothing new under the sun”, that “all is vanity” and that we all toil uselessly out of selfishness. That wealth is useless, honor is useless, wisdom is sorrow; foolishness is death, that we cannot truly know truth, he speaks of time and love, good and evil – that we are all from dust and that we will all return to it.
So why do I speak of it? Why do I title my blog “Vanity of Vanities” as if it is not vain of me to do so? and meaningless! Do I want my blog to be meaningless? Solomon is wise, and he states at the beginning of the book of Proverbs (which he also wrote) that the beginning of wisdom is to fear the Lord. The last line of the book of Ecclesiastes is this “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.”
Solomon states that all is meaningless, that all is vanity, that all is worthless and a “chasing after the wind” but that the most important thing to do, and the best thing above all, is to fear the Lord. The only hope we have is in fearing the Lord, the only meaning we have is in fearing the Lord, that because God is the Creator and Ruler of all – all Powerful, Merciful, Perfect, and Just – that to do anything else but fear Him is complete foolishness and done in vain. The wisest man ever comes to the conclusion in his life of leadership, wealth, lovers, power, righteousness, sin, honor, purpose, joy, pain, sorrow – that it’s all but naught if it’s not done in fear of the Lord.

I want to urge this to myself, that all my toiling under the sun comes to nothing without a genuine fear of God, that is - all that is counted is what is done for Him. I want to make it very clear that I don’t say that we are saved by the things we do (justification through works is not right nor biblical). The only way to truly fear God is to submit our lives fully to Jesus Christ in faith, and declare Him to be the eternal Lord and Saviour of our souls. Which He is. Jesus had not yet entered the world as a man when Solomon wrote any of his books, therefore Solomon was under the Old Covenant (which only means his approach was according to the time, if he was saved it was not by works but by faith). Jesus brought in the New Covenant made in His blood, as He died on the cross for our sins. The greatest act of love and mercy. Fear does not mean we cannot laugh or have joy, nor does it mean we must always be trembling (though there is a time for all these things), but it means submission and acknowledgment. It means we consciously do all things for the glory of Him who is deserving of all glory. We suffer for God, we love for God, we work the land and sing for God, we wake and sleep for God, we toil and laugh and play and love for God, for Jesus. I blog for Jesus, who died for my sins on the cross, that I can blog. I do it in fear, that God, who has gifted me with certain things, would be glorified by those things – I don’t do it unwillingly! But in great joy! For the God whom I fear is a good and perfect and loving God, who is just and justly merciful, and there is nothing I would rather do than fearfully do all things for Him.

“Though a sinner does evil a hundred times and prolongs his life, yet I know that it will be well with those who fear God” – Ecclesiastes 8:12

I would love to be asked questions.

No Need To Be Ashamed

2008-08-03T22:55:00.001-04:00

I have decided that I should begin blogging again for the purpose of keeping my own sanity, and keeping my mind sharp and accountable. This sudden change of mind occurred when I read a friend of mine’s quotes - this one stuck out – “Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.” – C.S. Lewis.
This prompted me to think immediately of the quote located at the bottom of this blog – “It has always happened hitherto that whenever I have begun to feel an attachment to places, persons, or things, of a merely temporary nature, I have been carried away from them. Amen! May I live as a stranger and pilgrim upon the earth, may we be brought to that better country where painful changes are known no more.” Henry Martyn.
I had the joy of doing a morning prayer meeting with a few other men just a couple weeks ago, we read through Philippians together and these words, which the two previous quotes echo, struck us all anew – “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
Oh what other purpose am I here than to glorify Christ?
What other reason do I live than for the glory of my God?
And again – what joys lie ahead for those who faithfully lay their lives before God now!
I will begin to blog because I have not confessed with my mouth enough that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour.

I hope to do three things then in blogging, the third being the most important by far, so much so that the first two actually are part of the third.
1) I hope to improve my writing
2) I hope to be more studious and “abide in” the word (John 8:31,32). “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth” – 2 Timothy 2:15
3) I hope to be glorifying to God, to please Him in my pursuit of truth. That my living may actually be Christ, and my death will be gain.

I pray the Lord would keep me courageous, devout, and true.

A Beginning of Sorts

2008-08-03T22:15:00.000-04:00

It has certainly been a while since I lasted Blogged, or wrote even. I never did post my reflections of this past year, although I almost finished them. I apologize; I do hope they will appear on this wall within the next couple weeks at least. I can sum it up shortly for you if you want in a quote from G.K. Chesterton – “A man does not know what he is saying until he knows what he is not saying.”

An ending of sorts

2008-03-15T20:36:00.003-04:00

The clock has just struck 12:34, which I thought was a very nice number until I realised it is only 6 hours from when I must wake tomorrow morning. This blog will be short, and also it will be the last of it's nature. I am hereby retiring as a blogger (well, for now) and my next post will be my last. My next post, I would like to inform you, I have already started writing and is a summary of sorts of this year. I hope to have it done within this week, though I can't guarantee the inspiration and time. I am much looking forward to writing it and even more so having people read it, so keep checking up.
Aside from that, I have been well (a phrase I use all too often, though it is often sincere). Tomorrow I am going to Dublin and staying with some co-workers/friends for St. Patrick's day. It should be good craic, but please pray for safe journey for us all. Perhaps also that God would use this time to clear my mind and spend time in reflection and worship, as I prepare for my return home.
Hope to see you soon, and thanks for all your support this half year.

Omelets with some Spurgeon and a Bunyan

2008-02-29T08:46:00.007-05:00

Who could have accounted for a 29th day of February to ruin my predictions? It seems as though I am not yet in my final month of this Irish excursion and I accredit this false prediction to the seasons and astronomical events! Couldn't this whole time thing have been worked out better? Who plans these things? Anyways, I will now say with confidence that the next time (after this one) I sit down to write a blog I will be in my final month, nearing departure. Today is a cloudy, windy, rainy day, which is about as common over here as February 29th isn't. I would have thought it would be appropriate for this day to be sunny, just to add to the rarity of it. I seem to be slipping back into my pretend anger. I will change the subject.
Ah, today I made an omelet for the first time ever (as I can recall). I had some of the guys in the house come round to the kitchen for a taste test and we can all agree that I am well pleased at finding a new talent. Though I must confess it's not as useful as others. After cleaning up the extensive mess left in the kitchen I sat down with a friend to watch a Vodcast by Mark Driscoll concerning predestination. It's like a Theological RedBull, nothing gets the doctrinal blood stirring more than a good predestination/Calvinist-Arminian debate Vodcast by a Reformist heavyweight theologian. I would, in fact, greatly recommend taking a look at Mark Driscoll's recent sermon series titled "Religion Saves, and nine other misconceptions." - it has some great points (though Driscoll tends to be overly blunt and sometimes rudely rash and arrogant). He answers questions live from people in the congregation who can anonymously text their questions, theological or social. You can also become Mark Driscoll's Facebook friend very easily and ask him questions, which I thought was cool and handy. - marshillchurch.org
I've ranted enough now on impersonal events. I have been well overall, slowly growing and making progress in my personal and thought life. I will admit that I struggle much daily at being a follower of Christ, and some days are just complete flops where others seem to be spiritually revolutionary. Overall though, I return to the word overall, I have been daily seeking Christ to be first in my heart, soul, and mind. I pray daily for a fire for Christ and a passion for truth and that His word and law would be on my heart. Please pray for me on these issues - as time goes on here and as an end is in sight I find myself becoming more and more apathetic and weak. Perhaps it is just a season, but I will not allow it to be an excuse, and so pray with me against it. I cannot let go of my goals, I cannot cease my progression. My biblical memorization has proven difficult as well, though I am inspired by what Charles Spurgeon said of John Bunyan, "Prick him anywhere; and you find that his blood is bibline, the very essence of the Bible flows from him. He cannot speak without quoting a text, for his soul is full of the Word of God." How essentially desirable is that! If there is one thing that is essential in life, other than a belief and passion for the gospel, it would be to have and know the Word of God with such intimacy that it is in your very breath and blood! Though I am far far from it, it's what I strive for... and not for any reason other than to know Jesus more intimately and to know His perfect and pleasing will. I live to please God, whether in the UK or Canada, Zimbabwe or North Korea.
Yet again, I have ranted. There has been so many good stories this week. I have had a lot of great conversations with interesting people. But now I've run out of time... I must run off now, I am attending the ticket booth at a local Aids in Africa Awareness concert. I couldn't pay the £8 to get in normally, so I volunteered.
Keep praying for me, as I am for you.

Dandelions

2008-02-23T09:00:00.006-05:00

Well, what can I tell you of my travels and work? I find myself before this computer screen, the light bouncing into my pupils, and myself thinking about how I can express to you what thoughts I am having behind my eyes, what events are unraveling and which are beginning? Based upon my blog writing patterns (or lack thereof) the next time I am writing, in this way, I will likely be in my final month. And while there is a lot happening there also seems to be very little, I'm not sure how present my mind is on today and today's responsibilities as oppose to tomorrows (which I am all too often thinking of). It is not healthy as a Christian I don't think. And while that is my mental and spiritual ailment I don't think I have yet gotten better from my physical sickness, though at this point it is hardly noticeable nor is it as important. We've had much more sun here lately than I have ever experienced in the UK and it seems as though we are standing on the doormat of springs house, I can already smell what's for dinner. This means I might have the joy of experiencing two springs this year, oh happiness.
Lately I have been reading some of the parables towards the end of Luke, the less heard of ones that appear in no other gospels. It has been slow because I am trying to really get to the meat of what is being said. There are some scary aspects, some joyful, some thoughtful and hope-giving, others troubling and self-revealing. I ponder to myself about my servant hood and whether I have actually done all I was told to do, not even whether I could say "I am an unworthy servant; I have only done what was my duty" (Lk 17:10). It is good, and it is enriching my prayer as scripture often does. I am also trying very desperately (with much failure) to memorize Psalm 103, because under the advice of John Piper this would greatly enrich my prayer as well.
Well, other than that there is not much else to say other than tedious talk of daily events. Like yesterday I had a great time in the extreme winds of street evangelism (metaphorically but definitely non-metaphorically as well). Then went for Tea (as they call Dinner) at a friends house in Coleraine, which was nice. Today I am writing my blog and going to a local pub with fellow interns, to watch a Manchester United game (I've become a big fan of Football... oh.. uh I mean Soccer) to immerse myself in the British/N.Irish culture once again (minus the heavy drinking of course).
Other than this though, things with me are fairly normal. The dandelions are beginning to speckle the fields and my work with the church is waning as it is being passed off into other hands. I just hope that all I do and am still brings glory to God in some way or another.
See you all soon, I'd love to hear from you.

I've a fever

2008-02-09T17:27:00.000-05:00

I don't have much to say mostly because not much happened this week other than me being confined to the walls of my house due to illness. Some kind of virus kidnapped me with a fever and chained me to my bed, stealing my health, my mind, and my willpower. I think perhaps I have escaped now though, and am undergoing my slow return to normality (there's no trace of Stockholm Syndrom with this criminal). Therefore I have not much to say other than another week has passed and I have very little to show for it other than a lot of dirty tissues. So I am not going to say more. Concerning my growth (Cause 'those not busy living are busy dying' right?) I have been exploring the different opinions on healing and signs and wonders, were they for the apostles only or not? (Something tells me this is not going to take only a couple days). Please pray for me, that my heart and mind would be continually renewed and refreshed with God's word and Spirit - and that despite my sickness or any pursuit of theological intelligence that my craving would be for holiness and godliness as a means of pleasing our Creator. My prayer will be the same for you.

A Thousand Trials

2008-02-01T06:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I walked along the Portstewart strand, which sits on the sea, and I am yet again amazed. It was as if the wind were picking on the sea, swooping down and taking its shots. The sea, a drunken giant with definite temperamental issues, throwing it's fists blindly like a dazed boxer, leaving itself open to be smacked and thrown. I don't know why sometimes they clash when they can get along so wonderfully, like siblings I suppose. On this specific afternoon there was something that came between them, there were no playful fights, but anger and power. The wind throwing the sea to the rocks making it bleed its foam. I walked with very little control of my direction, a good 40 feet from the seaside wiping the seawater from my face, as it came like rain on a rainless day. It's an eye opener, and I'm not sure if I will ever see anything like it again, I'm not sure if I want to. I have learned above all here that there is more to God than I know; there is power, majesty and beauty beyond my understanding. He works, and has worked, in such a drastic amount of ways.
I have been changed, and though it may seem from my words that it has been through the things I've seen I assure you it is not, I just describe what I see to paint the black, white and red truth. Like a Psalm can be most moving when sung from a broken voice in sweet melody, “Give light to my eyes, Oh Lord, or I will sleep in death”. But it is the black, white and red words of scripture that have pierced my heart and soul, not the beauty of nature and life. I walk by the sea now to seek the Lord and perhaps then find the sea beautiful, not to see the beautiful sea in hopes of finding the Lord. Every breath to be a prayer, fighting off the prince of the air. Every thought to be a plea, “oh God surround me.” Every step a thousand miles, by the grace of God against a thousand trials.
Every day decisions are made, some more important than others, some have such an incomparable weight to others. I see clearer now, I have prayed against the will of my body for a baptism of fire, to be renewed by the Spirit of God. I am a new creation, with a new mind in the name of Jesus Christ. I am no longer conformed to the pattern of this world (though to play off rhythm takes continual concentration) and I have experienced on a level a taste of the weight of glory that has destroyed my entire mind. I can no longer see with these eyes like I had, I can no longer hear with these ears like I had. To pray with my morning’s first breath and to worship with my evening’s last sigh and with all that is in between be praise, through faith and love demonstrated in good deeds, as Christ. It is a feat, and if ever I can fully accomplish it, which I strive for, it will be because of the immeasurable grace and love of God. I once thought that the big decisions in life were the apparently larger ones, like schooling, or careers. And on a level they definitely are, though they cannot weigh themselves beside the decision of constant prayer, or the choice of praise over idolatry. I have learned this, and am trying to grasp it.
I have made a decision recently, one that would at first seem large, but really is not compared to a decision to read the word of God, which is more important than air. I have decided to come back to London, Ontario. I was not sure whether I would make this something public, but I cannot see myself hiding this from my brothers and sisters who are praying for me. In early April I will, Lord willingly, have the joy of seeing you all again.
I am having a very enjoyable and fruitful time over here for sure, but circumstances and prayer has lead me this way. I can't wait to share what God has taught me, and what questions and challenges His word has put on my mind.
I have been praying for many of you and all of you. To experience the Kingdom, which has come, and is here, and is still coming, with such a terrible weight that your mind, heart, soul, and strength would be forever changed and renewed. To know the good and perfect and pleasing will of God in all decisions.
Pray for me also, to keep my eyes set on today and the possibilities in the name of Christ.

Computers, Coffee Shops and Conversations

2008-01-19T18:20:00.000-05:00

I have to keep this one short, not because there is not much to say but fully because there is not much time for me to write. This week has been very busy but very productive. I have spent a lot of time thinking and praying about and for people and things, as well as running and planning a lot of program and ministry for the upcoming weeks. Basically I've spent an obscene amount of time in front of the computer (which now miraculously has power after an odd run in with a broken power adapter) writing and even more time in meetings. And for all of those who care, I've done three loads of laundry and have sausages thawing on the kitchen counter... which all adds up to make the most productive week yet. I am now really beginning to find a good groove in my ministry placement and enough comfort with the culture to lose my awkwardness with the people. I am ever more pleased and excited about this experience and all that it's teaching me.
Quite a few posts ago I mentioned at least two people who I was meeting pretty consistently in coffee shops and through different ministry outlets... well I am overjoyed to say that they have both decided to follow Jesus with their lives. Praise the Lord with me, and pray for their journeys for they both have very hard times ahead. This is extremely encouraging for me to see the Lord working through me this way, and it has made all the money and time of this trip well worth it. There is nothing better, and I praise and thank the Lord for using me.
There are still plenty of people I am in regular contact with who still need prayer. That people here would come to see and know the greatness of God. Also if you would continue to pray for me - I have a lot of decisions to be made in this next week about my near future and figuring out where God wants me, so please pray that the Lord would be with me and guide my thoughts and decision making.
I am in Edinburgh, Scotland over the next week so my next post may not be for two weeks rather than one.
Thank you, your prayers are felt and yet evermore needed.

Like streams in the Negev

2008-01-12T16:54:00.000-05:00

"Captains Log stardate 04267892. We have had another run-in with the cling-on's and I'm beginning to fear that Ensign Harry Kim is getting a fever" (Sorry I had to start one like that)
Back to Earth. I must admit, if I have never said it before, I am due for a new blog update. The title of the last entry is " 'Tis the season to be jolly," and that sure doesn't hide it's age. There has been so much that has happened in the past 3 weeks that I couldn't even conceivably put it all into one blog entry. I've had a wonderful Christmas, and I did quite a bit of cheap traveling to visit friends in England over New-Years - and somehow managed to catch Tonsillitis somewhere in between.
Currently everything in the Church work is back to normal. I am working with the Youth again, running small groups during the week and speaking on Sunday Mornings to Youth. It's been giving me quite a lot to do and I have spent a surprising amount of time in the office this week getting things going and stirring up energy that might have been lost during the extended Christmas break. We are running an acoustic Coffee-House this Tuesday as an outreach event and to kick-off the new year with our small groups, at which I am doing an acoustic set (any song suggestions?). Please pray that newcomers would show up to that and that they'd feel welcome. And at Church this Sunday I am speaking on 1 Corinthians 12 and the Body of Christ and our duty as Christians (not quite like that though), so please also pray that it goes well and that the Lord uses me as He pleases. I also have a few meetings with curious non-Christians in Coffee shops this week to answer questions and build friendships, so be praying, please, for those times and that God would give me the right words to say.
Things seem to be back to normal for me as well, I've gotten back to waking up as early as my body will allow and reading. Please pray for me as I walk in faith and that God would bless me with His presence and grace, which I am ever in need of. I have had a little bit of a time schedule shift as well because the coffee shop that I was working for has just about gone under, and I have been one of the few to be "laid-off". Money is very tight, infact it is "Nil" as they say in this country, so please be praying that God, who has power over that, would help me financially in some way. Restore our fortunes, O Lord.

Thanks for your prayers,

'Tis the season to be jolly

2007-12-23T04:36:00.000-05:00

I woke up yesterday morning (something I try to do everyday!) and as I wandered aimlessly in the first ambiguous moments of the morning I found myself before the living room curtains and just then, without a purpose or a thought, I opened them. The dark cave of the living room exploded with a brilliant light and I almost lost my footing as I was forced to step back to protect my eyes from blindness. I stood there more confused than before, but as my eyes adjusted to the light my mind quickly came round to full clarity - for before my eyes, on the other side of that glass window pane, was the ground painted white with snow. Now... before I continue on with this story (which I shan't) I must confess to you that this glorious snow was merely a bit of frost. But "mere" is dangerous word to use (to quote C.S. Lewis) and one would never go about in Northern Ireland using the word "mere" and "frost" in the same sentence for that would surely be blasphemy. They are very proud of their frost, even being bold enough to call it snow, though we all know that is far from it - especially in comparison to what you are currently trudging through. I must confess though that it did put a smile on my face to walk on the ground and leave the slightest footprints - it was all I needed to know that it is the Christmas season - which I was having a very difficult time grasping.
This week as a whole has been severely busy - with working in the coffee shop and the Church office - preparing stuff for the coming year. I found it rather difficult to find time between for rest. It is all over now and I am officially "off" and very much enjoying my rest. It has been giving me a very different opinion on Christmas being away from home and I'm beginning to look at it in very different light than I had. I see now what a glorious thing it is, absolutely worthy of celebration though technically hindered by commercialization it's glory is none the less - and though I am away from friends and family, away from those whom I love and cherish these times to share - I will be celebrating the birth of our Saviour none the less. For there is a direct connection between His birth and my being here in Northern Ireland, and so I will be glad and fight off all sadness.
I have been very blessed these times as well. My laptop has arrived and my new job pays well, these things are from God, like all things, and are definitely reasons to be thankful and give praise. The locals are also very generous around these times and there is no shortage of invitations and food to those of us who are staying. I also am traveling a little bit over new year - from Dec 27th 'till Jan 3rd to London (England!) and then to Southampton (perhaps a little Liverpool and Manchester action though unlikely) to visit friends from Muskoka Woods in the summer. Which should really be a lot of craic and a good time to unwind. Please pray for safety. And please pray for my Mum and Dad and my three sisters over these next couple of days, hopefully the Dog will do a good job replacing me. Anyways, I must be off. Have a wonderful Christmas and a jolly new year. 'Till next year! Adios

Gutentag!

2007-12-08T19:25:00.000-05:00

Time is flying by. Not only does it seem that Christmas is right on our doorstep, everyone is acting that way for sure, but I've just recently gotten to the point where it's the longest I've ever been away from home. "Do you miss home?" is a common question I hear over here, and the answer is definitely yes, though not at the 'homesick' level I am missing good ol' London (the real one as I often have to explain) as much as ever... not, of course, for the city in and of itself but because of the people. Yes, I'm trying to say I miss you all back home - my family and friends. I hear very often about the things happening around the church and I am excited and wishing I could experience it along with you all. God has me here for a reason though and the mission is the same - the distance and solitude sure has taught me a lot already - and we're only about 1/3 through. So please do keep praying, I don't want things to settle in so much that I forget I'm following a calling, and forget to pray for it. Ignorance and comfort can be powerful weapons of the enemy.
These days have been interesting. Definitely different from the first two months where ministry and planning was my huge focus, now the only ministry I am actually playing a leadership role in is Street Evangelism on Friday afternoons. This is due to the church's Sabbatical on small groups and youth work for the month of December, which seems to be quite a normal thing. It really has left me playing minor roles in a lot of little things around the office... such as cutting paper, moving boxes or making tea. Which by all means is important and also very relieving and relaxing for me - giving me time to breathe and soak in a little bit (and perfect my tea making skills). I am busy doing other things as well. The Coffee shop where I work will be opening the section in which I will work on Wednesday and I go in on Tuesday to learn the machines. So that is definitely an item for praise, and something to keep me busy... and financed. Also I've been spending a lot of time with people in the community, both Christian and non-Christian, just building relationships and often getting asked tough faith questions. Hopefully I'm giving the right answers and having an impact on this community to the glory of God. That is my biggest hope and prayer. There are people who come from all over Europe and Africa to check out this Vineyard's ministry and how it works and I had the pleasure to do Street Evangelism on Friday with a very funny and loud German man who I called Erik (because his name sounded something like that but not quite). He was quite surprised at how effective and simple the ministry is and encouraged me by shouting in a heavy accent "JP you know'sen everysbody in s'is town!" We had Eleven boys become Christians just last week on Street Evangelism and they are already getting involved in Sunday morning stuff and small group leaders. God works very powerfully on these streets, and I am overjoyed to experience it.
I must draw this to a close now, it is running on 1a.m. here now. This is the only time I can get access to a computer - though by the time I'm due for another entry that will hopefully be different though because I have just recently purchased a new laptop. It has been stuck in Great Britain customs though for 3 days now (the internet tracker tells me so at least) which is rather frustrating. Please pray that it all goes through well. I will post again when it arrives. Thanks for stopping by! God bless

Night Divine

2007-11-24T14:41:00.000-05:00

The nights are a soul-warming cold. A crisp breeze blowing through the Achilles heel of your coat and gloves, and also into your eyes causing the slightest tears. It's not hard for you to see your breath, especially under the characteristically British streetlights, and for a brief moment you imagine yourself as Lucy first walking into Narnia. The sight of the stone city streets and coloured Christmas lights brings you back out of the wardrobe of your imagination to appreciate how wonderful a night it truly is. The stars brightly shining and the moon not quite full, but closer to the end than the beginning. Old Church steeples tower into the sky, getting darker as they rise out of the light, seemingly trying to reach the stars. And above it all, through the simple sidewalk radios, the sound of Christmas Carols gently easing your mind into memories, as you walk through the empty streets of Coleraine at night.

Oh holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
Oh night divine, Oh night when Christ was born;
Oh night divine, Oh night, Oh night Divine.

Starbucks

2007-11-24T13:01:00.000-05:00

It's been too long since I've been here writing a new post - I apologize for my lack of updates. Do be comforted in the fact that this lapse of posts has not been out of laziness, but purely out of busyness - the fruitful sort as far as I know. It's been a very eventful past few weeks, good to say the least. I have finished off my work with Small Group leading until January, and Teen Church will have our last day tomorrow until the new year as well. These ministries end here for a month as a type of mini-sabbatical for both the leaders and those who come and participate. I was surprised by this different way of doing things because I would usually see this time of year as being a prime-time for ministry work. I have no arguments at this point though, and I am looking forward to recharging the physical, emotional and spiritual batteries which I feel are beginning to run low.
In the last week I've had many meetings with various people, some from Small Groups concerning accountability and Spiritual Growth, others with non-Christians with tough questions and harsh histories. Starbucks is becoming my second Church office, and I'm letting it happen without complaints. I can think of two of the people I've met there this past week who I originally acquainted myself with during an hour of street evangelism, one of whom is coming to Church this Sunday with me because of a new extreme level of interest in Christianity. The other, is a young man who is unbelievably learned in Theology and Christianity as a whole, but is struggling through many difficulties in life and pain and is now seeking answers from God. It was amazing to sit down with him for a couple hours over coffee and share life and struggles, and I hope to continue to bump into him and share God's love as best I can as he seriously journeys this. Above all else if you could pray for these two people and for my connection with them - I know God is working in them, and perhaps, to my great excitement and joy, through me.
In all of these new experiences for me I am still working through a lot of new points of view concerning God and Church, as well as culture and living in community. Which has been fun. It's the little things that really let you know you're in a different country, like when you're out to buy deodorant and they just don't have any stick form, only weird liquid things. Or when you go to sit down for dinner at 5p.m. and it's already been dark for half an hour. Or when you go to cook a can of beans only to discover all the pots are left dirty. Or when you go to a ministry called Healing on the Streets and you expect to be helping out with covering graffiti or picking up garbage and you end up witnessing people being healed by God, of things like Cancer or broken bones. My life here as been far from dull, and my mind even during times set aside to be still has had difficulty doing so, when there's so much to try or learn, or to read or listen to. On a personal level please pray that I would be able to cope with all that is happening around me and in me and that in it all I'd find times of peace with God.

Mini-Essay on Youth Culture

2007-11-12T17:55:00.001-05:00

What is there to say on the youth culture of the Coleraine area, in Northern Ireland, and it’s relation with ministry efforts in that same area?

A difficult question to ask, because one cannot just begin by describing a culture; in the same breath, describing a specific ministry cannot start it either. They are both far too broad for brief explanation. They do overlap though, and that would be a fine place to begin. One of the main goals of a healthy church, or a healthy ministry, would be to be explaining what Christ has done, and bringing people into an awareness of that. In essence, they want to be leading as many people to Christianity as possible; it is a fundamental part of their doctrine. This is how they overlap – the youth culture in Coleraine is a goal for the Church’s in the same area, they want to saturate them with the message of the gospel. It is common knowledge as well that the traditional ways of doing this no longer effectively work – or in other words, it is essential that a church be relevant to a current culture so that it’s message be relevant to the people. Which leads us to a second question - how can a church be relevant to a youth culture in modern society whilst still maintaining it’s fundamentals and not watering itself down? The answer is in the people.

The people, the culture. If there’s anything that connects a Christian and a non-Christian it is that they are both people. The both like or dislike different sport teams; the both like or dislike certain music, books, politics, styles… the list goes on; they both are submerged in some kind of culture. The Youth culture in Northern Ireland, or more specifically the Coleraine area, is something to be observed now in this case, what makes a Colerainer a Colerainer? Which is yet again a broad question to be asked – an outsider could assume very quickly that it is a culture that prefers Football of all the sports, Fish and Chips of all the foods, Westlife or Snow Patrol of all the bands and has a very traditional church background – always rooting into either a Catholic or Protestant stream. But once again you find that generalisations are hardly ever true to the individual, and this is purely the case in the Coleraine area. The culture is complex just like anywhere else in the world, and nothing can be assumed about anyone. The internet and global media has helped in dimming down specific cultures and just adding them to a global culture that just changes slightly with geographical changes. But yet again there are consistencies, the internet being one of them with huge culturally influential web sites like YouTube, MySpace, Bebo, Facebook, all connecting people in some way – the mass percentage of Youth culture would be involved somehow in these things – Christian and non-Christian alike.

People again, we share joys and we share pains. Love and pain is what very often brings people together. Youth cultures around the world are alike just beginning to experience these things in their fullest, things like dating, divorce and death are all becoming real to them – and a comfortable place with answers to the questions these things develop will always be welcomed. Church would be effective in approaching these subjects as they approach youth because immediately they can on some level connect and share. Once people connect and share on a personal level they become more relevant to each-other and to each-others opinions and beliefs. That is the place where a relevant ministry wants to be, sharing and connecting. The same applies to youth even in the Coleraine area, they are not immune to the difficult aspects of life like death, or the emotions or pains that are associated with love - no one is – Christian and non-Christian alike.

People dislike injustice, people dislike falsehoods, people crave truths. Nobody wants a sleazy, lying politician leading them. Nobody wants to hear of innocents dying on the news and criminals walking free. People connect in certain fundamental morals. There’s a standard of living that Christians are called to live at that can either be appealing or completely un-attractive. They live very moral lives in a very immoral world. Fortunately for them immorality is not portrayed under good light, even by the clearly immoral who typically disagree yet rebel even against themselves (and portray it as being cool). Youth are just beginning to explore these things and figure out where they stand. They are bombarded by different messages; typically it would be the up-tight teacher or parent who would offer the moral way of living and the cool celebrity types who advertise the opposite. This combined with a youthful desire to explore, to learn, to experience, and to self-fulfill is what really combats a Church’s ministry and it’s relevance. Youth don’t want to be told “no”, they don’t want to be bored, and the youth of Coleraine are no exception. They do not connect on this level but they do connect on a parallel that people everywhere are looking for more in life, the more in life that Christians have found. Youth don’t want to be told no, but in the same breath they also always want the best, to portray the message that in saying no to certain things and yes to other things that are so much more is the course of action that needs to be taken for a Youth based ministry. Youth are looking to the future, looking to see what it offers; morality plays a big part in that, and so could Christianity. Cause everyone wants the best, everyone wants more – Christians and non-Christians alike.

So, what is there to say on the youth culture of the Coleraine area, in Northern Ireland, and it’s relation with ministry efforts in that same area? That youth in the Coleraine are fundamentally no different from youth anywhere else in the world and then when approached with the ministry efforts in that it was asked - how can a church be relevant to a youth culture in modern society whilst still maintaining it’s fundamentals and not watering itself down? By connecting and sharing with them in a focused cultural way, using broad tools like MySpace and connecting with the big issues like bands and music, or big football matches. Showing that Christians are culturally relevant and not disconnected, or in other words showing that Christians are people too. Also in connecting and sharing with youth on the universal topics of life, and death, love and hate, happiness and sorrow, comfort and pain, showing that Christians aren’t immune and that they’re people too, just with an all surpassing joy and new-life. And then in offering them to live in a higher standard of life, one that Christians strive for as well, connecting and sharing with them on hopes for the future. None of these things require a watered-down gospel nor do they come across as un-appealing to youth, because all people and youth have a connection with one another, Christian or non-Christian alike, we’re all people.

JP + 1

2007-11-09T08:43:00.000-05:00

I have been told, though I have not yet witnessed it myself, that on the major TV stations here they have a clone channel on which they play the exact same shows but played one hour later. They call them the +1 channels. (i.e. BBC +1, CNN +1). I figure that because I'm kind of updating you with what's happening here but not as it happens, that I will title this entry as JP +1. It's exactly what's been happening just a bit behind. Anyways, I hear good news all the time from home and from a lot of you and I want to say thanks for keeping in touch and keeping me posted. Lots has happened here with me over the past two weeks, both on a personal level and on a practical missional level. I find that the days are going by quicker and quicker as the weeks go on - to think that I'm coming into my eighth week of running my small group is insane, and my fifth week of Radiate is even crazier. These things have all progressively been getting better as well, which is news for praise, and I'm excited to see where the Lord leads us/me in these ministries. The weather here is drastically starting to get colder, not that it compares with what's happening there in Canada at these times, but the Californians that I live with have now officially never been in colder weather. The wind is really what makes it difficult though, it's strong enough that you could absolutely not drink a coffee outside without spilling it everywhere, and there's always a nice howling coming down our chimney/fireplace.
I also find I'm really beginning to fit in with the culture - using words such as trousers rather than pants, or mingin' rather than gross, or even accepting offers for tea rather than for coffee - Maybe even once and a while I'll even try to pretend I'm Irish, though I'm not yet any good. (The chocolate here by the way is absolutely incredible, like no other. I thought I knew what good chocolate was until I came here - my eyes have been opened.)
On a more useful topic. I have been hired by a place called Echoes Fish and Chips... Yes... I am working in what the Irish call a 'Chippie' making fish and chips. I have only gone in once and already I rather enjoy it, especially the fish and chips part, I might come back a little heavier than I was. I am only working there though for a couple of weeks - I was actually hired for Echoes Coffee Pub which will be opening in a short amount of time... I will show them all how to make a real Americano. This is going a long ways in helping me financially and is a direct answer to prayer, so thank you all for praying for this and praise God.
Other than the obvious there is lots happening that keeps me very busy, I am working on creating a devotional booklet, as well as continually working on music both with some locals and with fellow interns/housemates. I am beginning to really develop some very fruitful relationships with people here as I work alongside of them in ministry. There haven't been any problems with the people I live with, work alongside, or work with, which has been incredible for making this experience enjoyable.
Thanks again for all your prayers, please continue to. Please pray for the youth that I'm working with, and those who we talk to during street evangelism. As well as for myself and that I would be continually making sure I'm in tune with God's plan and direction.
Hope all is well back home, enjoy the first few snowfalls - I miss them almost as much as I miss you all. God bless - JiP

Beyond understanding

2007-11-01T06:31:00.000-04:00

Ahh, one of the things I love most about this place is daily having the joy (and cool refreshment) of being able to see the sea. I must say that it is a monster - a massive, unpredictable, and beautiful monster. I often find myself walking along the cliffside (there's guardrails, no worries) to the long sandy beach of Portstewart at night, where I find myself alone and cold but perfectly at peace. In awe of stars and a roaring ocean. These are often good times for a John Piper podcast to play into my ears, not often leaving me less confused about this world and God's extreme power and majesty, but certainly more confortable with my own unknowing. When on the beach at night you can stare out into the ocean and it is all so dark you can only see the first few waves, then everything blends into blackness. Last night there were flashes of light, I don't know whether they were fireworks (fireworks seem to be a hallowe'en event here) or lightning, but every few moments I could get a glimpse of the sea, and it's black, never-ending size. There are times when it is choppy and times when it is somewhat calm, there are even times when the waves will get to be over 10 feet, but last night I swear the sea was rolling. Giant waves like mountains rising and falling far out in the ocean's blackness. And my skin crawls with fear at this overhwhelming realisation of my own size and weakness. I imagine myself on a boat, fighting to stay afloat, rising and falling with the rolling mountains. Trying even to stay on my feet. Then my mind wanders further again and I remember just a few words, hardly louder than the wind and crashing waves. "Quiet. Be still!". And I am reminded that it was God who crafted the sea and it is Him who commands it, and I should have no fear. "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
Of all the majestic things to know of God. To study His sovereignty or His perfect will and the role of Evil and suffering. To read from wise dead men and to explore their knowledge to adopt it - I have continually found that it is the things you think are simple that actually bring you to your knees in praise, without any option or desire to do otherwise. Standing on the shore of the most powerful element in this world and knowing it has not one bit of power over my God who loves me, is a peacefully breath-taking thought. And knowing and grasping that it is true, and living in a way that exclaims that truth... I suppose that is the journey I am on. I am having to cope with the fact that God is far beyond anything my mind can handle, that what I find fascinating and miraculous about God is likely only the beginning, and that above all He loves and cares for me. For us. We are blessed, and all He asks for is faith. Faith in love and praise. We are to undergo trials and tribulations, but stand firm in joy and a peace beyond understanding.

Fashionably Late

2007-10-31T14:14:00.001-04:00

I will state my appologies for the late blog entry, our internet was down on Monday and this is the first chance I have gotten since. Hope no-one was holding their breath

Djembe Djembe

2007-10-22T12:50:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow will be my one month mark. Seems weird to think that I've been here a month. I'm inclined to say that it feels as though it's been more of a lifetime. Things happen quickly, and there's so many little things that have occured that when I look back it looks much longer than I suppose it has actually been. Which by all means is a good thing - I made a conscious decision to make the most of this venture in both learning and experience, and a lifetime in a month seems to have been the result.
This past week was an exciting one, bowling with my small group on Tuesday went very well (I am apparently very bad at bowling). We saw two somewhat new faces, the young man who I spoke about in the last blog entry came and he brought a friend... both have decided to make it a regular part of their week, and we will see them again tomorrow night. Please continue to pray for him, as well as my relationship with him. Then the rest of my week consisted of many many meetings with various people, business and personal, and planning for Sunday morning program - Radiate. On Friday I helped out in the Street Evangelism again, and handed out more lollipops than ever before in my life, and just chatted with various locals which was really quite the experience.
I also got to see Northern Ireland shut down for the Rugby World Cup on Saturday Evening as England played South Africa (South Africa won and all the Irishmen were happy).
Radiate on Sunday morning went great, we saw 6 new faces and brought our number up to 12.
Then on Sunday evening I was invited to tag along as 4 Worship interns went down to a small town about an hour away to lead worship in a very traditional church. I ended up playing the Djembe (a bongo kinda drum thingy) for their set, after a very random series of events. The preacher spoke powerfully on hell and heaven and Christians and non-Christians, as we all sat in the front row in casual clothes with 300 people behind us in formal wear. There was a minor miscommunication I suppose, but we got a great response and I got to begin my new career as a Djembe player.
Overall, I look back and it just makes me more excited for this next upcoming week. Please continue to pray for me, both for what God's been doing in me and for what I've been doing to glorify God. I didn't get much time to read or write this week and hopefully this week will be more gracious in that respect. Anyways I must be getting on, the sun has already set here and there's much more to be done before the day is over. Thanks for tuning in, same time next week. (I had to say it). Cheers and God bless

Miracles

2007-10-15T11:25:00.000-04:00

Well, I can't believe it's another Monday, my third one here thus far. It's been quite a wild ride, and one that has challenged me greatly in every way. I know I've said that already but it is something that is happening continually and at the top of my mind in all my personal times. Recently I've been reading two books, "Don't waste your life" by John Piper and "Miracles" by C.S. Lewis, the second of which I picked up and started reading because of my need to understand the subject further. There hasn't been a shortage of miracles since I've been here, working with a charismatic church. I won't go into that subject though, not until I understand it better, or at least have prayed about it and have some kind of grasp on where it all comes from. On a more practical note, yesterday, being Sunday, Radiate was launched (Radiate is one of the programs that I designed for 11-14 year olds on Sunday morning). It was a great success, not necessarily in numbers or by the way I lead (surely not that), but because of the reactions that came from the 6 youth who came. I had one youth, a young guy at the age of 15, who apparently had completely disowned Christianity in just about every form possible, and who also had been dealing with an anger problem (punching holes in walls) (none of this I knew) who came and joined in the 'ice breaker' games and then eventually participated in prayer and worship very openly. Afterwards I encouraged him to come to my small group on Tuesday nights, he wasn't very keen until I told him we were going bowling this week, which he apparently loves. I thought this was normal but when I heard what his mother thought about it I found out the rest of the story, and saw what a cause it was to praise God. I am happy to share this story (one of a few that I've gathered so far) because it shows that God has gracefully used me as a tool to do His work already. For this I'm glad. If you would pray along with me for Radiate and the youth who come, and for the young man who's heart seems to have been changed, that would be great.
Things are coming along steadily now, the ministries that I am a part of have been set in place and so I feel more comfortable and able here. I know what has to be done, which is much less stressful than not knowing. Currently it is raining but the sun is shining bright, crazy Ireland (thought I'd share that with you... sorry). Thank you for your support and prayer. I have been encouraged by some of the messages I have received through Facebook or email, or even here on the blog. Would you please continue to pray for me in regards to keeping myself on track and growing, as well as the ministries I have been placed in charge of. These are my major two elements in need of prayer, both of them would be best explained in just saying - pray that I would be continually doing what God wants me to be doing. I have to be heading out now, the church office is closing. Thanks again and I hope to hear from you all soon! God bless

Radiate

2007-10-09T18:10:00.000-04:00

Well, already I would say I have learned more about God and people and community and church and myself in the last two weeks than I ever have in my life. I can't even explain. I apologize for my lack of communication over the past few days, this is my first week of having a set schedule so hopefully that will make things easier to work out. Ok so what can I say? Well let me first start by saying that I have posted pictures on my Facebook account under JP Theriault because it is the best way for me to post bulk amounts of photographs... so please add me as your friend if you are not already one (or... go on another persons account to check it...). If that is not possible for you than I will somewhat explain the way I feel about this town. When I first got here, or rather, on the plane as I was flying over, I started to read 'the man who was thursday' by G.K. Chesterton. In his opening words he describes his character as his character enters into a town, this is how he describes the town. "The suburb of Saffron Park lay on the sunset side of London, as red and ragged as a cloud of sunset. It was built of a bright brick throughout; its sky-line was fantastic, and even its ground plan was wild. It had been the outburst of a speculative builder, faintly tinged with art, who called its architecture sometimes Elizabethan and sometimes Queen Anne, apparently under the impression that the two sovereigns were identical. It was described with some justice as an artistic colony, though it never in any definable way produced any art. But although its pretensions to be an intellectual centre were a little vague, its pretensions to be a pleasant place were quite indisputable. The stranger who looked for the first time at the quaint red houses could only think how very oddly shaped the people must be who could fit in to them. Nor when he met the people was he disappointed in this respect. The place was not only pleasant, but perfect, if once he could regard it not as a deception but rather as a dream. Even if the people were not "artists," the whole was nevertheless artistic. That young man with the long, auburn hair and the impudent face -- that young man was not really a poet; but surely he was a poem. That old gentleman with the wild, white beard and the wild, white hat -- that venerable humbug was not really a philosopher; but at least he was the cause of philosophy in others. That scientific gentleman with the bald, egg-like head and the bare, bird-like neck had no real right to the airs of science that he assumed. He had not discovered anything new in biology; but what biological creature could he have discovered more singular than himself? Thus, and thus only, the whole place had properly to be regarded; it had to be considered not so much as a workshop for artists, but as a frail but finished work of art. A man who stepped into its social atmosphere felt as if he had stepped into a written comedy." ... haha and that's what it's like. It's unreal and poetic and so very beautiful, and as a place, both physical and cultural, I love it. So... I'm sorry about how long that was but I needed to share it. In the heart of this place lies the church office where I work and plan. I am involved quite a lot in the ministries of the church, which are VERY different from the ministries of West London Alliance but in no way is either superior or inferior to the other, God works in both. I do street evangelism on Friday afternoons, which is a crazy and bold ministry but it works very well. Then on Sunday mornings I've, myself, started a new ministry called Radiate (after the radiators which are everywhere here) it's for 11-14 year olds who prior to now have not had any teaching or church. I plan each Sunday for that and speak and lead the volunteers. I'm also running a small group of about 8 15-16 year olds, which takes place on Tuesday nights, I'm in charge of that as well. I have my own small group on Thursday nights, and our home (where there's 6 guys living) does a small group/worship night together on Monday nights. Mondays are my day off and hopefully the day to check this blog for updates. I've organized myself completely and I've put time in on Mondays for communication and updates. Our post here is on strike so I can't send letters yet and if you've sent me letters that's why I haven't gotten them yet. Please continue to pray for me, my world has been turned upside down in the last two weeks and I'm trying to gather my thoughts and sort through some of the new experiences while at the same time trying to be effective in ministry and doing God's work. Please pray for the ministries which I am a part of and involved in that they'd be effective to God's will and kingdom. Also for me myself as I am trying to learn and explore a lot of different things. Thanks for the support back home, know that West London Alliance and my family and supporters are all in my prayers. If you have any questions please email me or facebook me (I love how that is now a verb), I'd love to hear from you. God bless and cheers!

What's the craik?

2007-10-01T05:14:00.000-04:00

What's the craik eh? is what I say, an Irish term that I've added a little touch of home to. It pretty much just means whatsup. I've had an extreme first 6 days, it already feels like a month at least. I have to tell you that this is the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my life, it's like everything is an aged work of art, surrounded by the sea and cliffs and a lot of green. I've been involved in a lot of ministries already, and this upcoming week I am leading a couple of them. (they've really got me going early here, I like it though). Pray for me that I can be effective and God honoring in my ministries here, and that as the ball really starts rolling I can be focused and managed in my time and efforts. Thanks a ton, talk to you again soon

Home?

2007-09-26T11:03:00.000-04:00

Excuse me a wee bit the keyboard is slightly different here. Yes, I'm here, being N.Ireland. The flight was problem free as well as my immigration. I'm here with my guitar as well, which is an awesome blessing for sure. I'm not feeling jet-legged one bit, which is also a blessing. I've already co-lead a small group of youth last night, 6 hours after getting here. This place is beautiful and I hope to get you guys some pictures soon enough, keep praying!.

I'm leaving on a jet plane

2007-09-24T14:28:00.000-04:00

Although, I think I know when I'll be back again... approximately. I fly out today at 11:30 pm and arrive at Belfast International Airport at 11 am (6 am our time). Please pray for safety and that any immigration stuff will go well... as well as luggage safety (we don't want any Ecuador repeats). God has everything under control. Thanks for all your support, to this point. Next post I should be in N.Ireland. Cheers and God bless

Pack attack

2007-09-19T21:13:00.000-04:00

I am packing. The airline that I am traveling with will let me take 20kgs with me, which is making for some fun times. The airline will also not let me take my guitar on the plane with me. Please pray that there be some kind of answer to that, though I understand this may mean no guitar. Gotta do what ya gotta do I guess, it doesn't make this one bit less exciting. The week is zooming by, I fly in 5 days. Yikes

Here we go

2007-09-17T18:29:00.000-04:00

Well, I just bought a ticket. Feels pretty crazy. I'm officially leaving at 11:30pm on Monday, Sep 24th. The whole thing went through very simply, problem free, and unexpectedly quick which I accredit fully to the Lord's guidance. An absolute answer to prayer and a blessing. Well, every blessing He pours out, I'll turn back to praise. So here we go

Welcome

2007-09-15T22:43:00.000-04:00

The wonders of modern technology really makes things easier sometimes. In this case it's really helping me keep you informed. Today my Dad showed me a little newsletter booklet that he made when he and my Mum were missionaries in England, and trust me, this is a whole lot easier... and quicker. I'll be posting various updates and prayer requests as well as pictures and stories right here... once I actually get there of course... Until then this is just boring. Looks like I'll be leaving either Sep 25 or Oct 2, depending on how quickly Visa stuff goes through. Pray, if you will, for no problems in that department. Thanks again!

Newsletter to WLA

2007-09-15T22:10:00.001-04:00

Ok, so imagine with me for a moment. There’s an acoustic guitar playing, it’s being picked and strummed, and it sounds deep and rich. The kind of sound that makes you just want to sit in a hammock on a summer afternoon. There’s also a shaker keeping a gentle rhythm in the background, and another guitar softly soloing to accent certain notes. And just when you’re wondering what is going on and why this music is playing you hear Kenny Chesney start singing, “There’s a blue rockin’ chair, sittin’ in the sand. Weathered by the storms, and well oiled hands. It sways back and forth, with the help of the winds. Seems to always be there, like an ol’ trusted friend. I’ve read a lot of books, wrote a few songs. Looked at my life, where it’s goin’, where it’s gone. I’ve seen the world, through a bus windshield. But nothing compares, to the way that I see it, to the way that I see it, to the way that I see it, when I sit in that Old Blue Chair.” Ok now come back to reality for me. I know you loved that. I also know that quoting a Kenny Chesney song is not necessarily the most traditional way to start a letter of this sort. But he expresses a feeling that I’m trying to express but in a much better way than I can (trust me, I tried). I’m just trying to say that West London Alliance Church is like that Old Blue Chair for me, no matter where I go (stick with me and I’ll talk about that in a few seconds) WLA will always be home, the place that I learned and grew up. I have to thank so many people for all these years, but I have to especially thank Graham for being such a strong mentor, leader, and friend.

Speaking of Graham, he’s the one who hooked me up with a sweet summer job in Muskoka Woods. Which leads into the purpose of this letter. I stood on the beach of Lake Rosseau talking to a married couple who were missionaries from Northern Ireland about them being Irish (I believe I was making fun of their accents). Naturally, being a big Van Morrison, U2, and Cranberries fan I asked them about the music scene in Ireland. The wife, named Janet, just laughed a bit (a hearty Irish laugh) and said they weren’t big into it, although she said that she had heard one of her sister’s songs on the radio once she got to Canada. This peaked my interest and impulsively I asked her who her sister was. She just smiled (she was always smiling) and said, “Kathryn Scott, have you heard of her?” I exclaimed my enthusiasm at her answer by telling her that I had heard of Kathryn Scott and that I’d been singing and playing her songs for years at Church and Youth group. She chuckled back jokingly, “Oh, well maybe you should come over and take an internship with her in Ireland.”

Let me now change my tone a little bit. I begin this part by proclaiming and acknowledging how much God has blessed my life to this point. The blessing alone to be loved by Him is enough, but still I have been blessed with a family and a community in which I can learn of Him who loves me more. Now that, to me as a sinner, is grace from a loving God. This whole idea and plan for me interning in Ireland did not come about through any means other than prayer and trust in God. It did not come from a craving for adventure but from a craving to experience God and learn of Him through servitude and worship. I have prayed and read Scriptures to seek God’s direction and will for me, and through each step of this journey I have turned to Him for guidance. I gladly declare that I don’t care where God sends me, but only that it is He who sends me. It appears now, that Lord willing I will be going to Northern Ireland, and unless some unexpected bump in the road throws this whole thing off course, then that’s what I’m doing. I will be working as a Youth Ministry Intern at Causeway Coast Vineyard Church, less than 1000 feet from the North Atlantic coastline. I have the opportunity to be leading and teaching kids and teenagers, as well as planning and organizing different outreach ministries to reach the nearby communities, and even Belfast. They will also be giving me a certain amount of schooling and theological education. I have received support from those who are close to me, my family and friends, and I would be no-where along this path without them. I’m coming to the point where I am in need of support from my church family as well, in a financial way yes, but more importantly in prayer. Because God listens to our prayers, and I need God through this, pray that He would use me, challenge me, test me, guide me, support and strengthen me, and that through me He may be glorified. Please if you wish to support me in any way, or ask me questions, or just catch up before I go, contact me. I hope to keep a blog going throughout my 10 months there that I encourage you to check out as well. Thank you again for the support I’ve already received from the church family, you’ll always be my Old Blue Chair.

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn!”
~ C.S. Lewis

Contact me!
519-641-0947
jpsterio@gmail.com

My Blog!
jpinireland.blogspot.com

To Begin

2007-09-10T14:42:00.000-04:00

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
- Romans 8:28

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight."
- Proverbs 3:5-6